• Me: i had to put so much milk and sugar in there to even the flavor out
• Me: and it's stuck in my mouf
• Me: uryghbjlruyw9ryshfdjkc
• Wifey Boo: brush your teeth
• Wifey Boo: with bleach
• Me: i feel like it needs it
• Wifey Boo: don't swallow
• Wifey Boo: this is the only time I will ever tell you not to swallow
• Me: perf advice

arekeyvay:

No regrets.

All is right with the world.

• Myself: You should make his ass your lock screen.
• Jackie: THAT.
• Jackie: IS A GOOD IDEA.

I’m fucking cracking up over this why OMG

arekeyvay:

Tell her to stop. TELL HER.

I am a comedic genius.

IT CAME ON THE RADIO WHO ELSE WAS I SUPPOSED TO SING THIS TO?!

• Jackie: YEAH TELL YOUR MOM THAT MY MOM IS BRINGIN' COLE SLAW ON MONDAY.
• Myself: Oh she'll be ready.
• Jackie: SHE BETTER BE READY.
• Jackie: LIKE SPONGEBOB.
• Myself: I'M DONE. I QUIT.

Bows all day err day. (Taken with instagram)

Kept it pretty simple today. (Taken with instagram)

Pink Nouveau. (Taken with instagram)

Toasted Coconut. (Taken with instagram)

When the hardest part of your day is deciding whether or not to double stack your lashes.